I started working on some goals back in December to be healthier and less stressed: getting more exercise, making better food choices. The usual things.
I decided to start on December 21. Winter Solstice. A wonderful time for a fresh start. It was also the beginning of a week of time away from work, which would go a LONG way toward feeling less stressed out. And I liked the idea of not waiting until December 31, because I quite like not doing things the “normal” way.
December 21 came and went, and I just wanted to enjoy the holidays and eat what I wanted – which I did – so I decided I’d start the new goals on the following Monday, December 31. Which is New Year’s Eve. And the kids wanted to make a cake. So we made cake.
January 1 rolled by. January 2… January 3… There was still cake to be eaten, so I was eating it.
Then it was my birthday weekend, and goodness knows I wasn’t going to give up that opportunity to eat whatever I wanted and to stay up late and sleep in.
Then it was my birthday week. I bought a lemon meringue pie and sat on the couch Friday night eating it straight from the container.
It didn’t even taste that good.
Saturday morning was a fresh start. I was ready. I got some exercise, made some better choices with the food I ate, and for the last few days, for the most part, I’ve been eating under 100 net carbs each day, which I know works well for me for losing weight. I’m about ten pounds over my ideal weight. Not bad, I know, but my pants are uncomfortable and so am I.
I had an OB-GYN appointment yesterday, an annual check up. I dreaded being weighed but looked forward to the opportunity to ask some questions.
I walked away with a new understanding of how my body works.
I have endometriosis.
As I understand it, endometriosis is an inflammatory disease in which cells that are supposed to be in the lining of the uterus grow outside of it, which results in scar tissue. This can result in a very painful menstrual cycle and problems with infertility and digestion.
I’ve been extremely lucky not to have a hard time with my menstrual cycle, though it turns out I’ve been inadvertently treating the endo by being on birth control pills or a hormone-based IUD most of my adult life. I’ve also been gluten-free for five years, which can help reduce inflammation.
I have struggled with digestion, and maybe this – finally – helps explain why.
And I constantly struggle with acne, which doesn’t seem to be directly related to the endo but which is definitely hormonal and inflammatory.
So, I’m finding myself today with a new perspective on what I eat and why it really does matter. Another, very different kind of fresh start.
Based on what I’ve been reading, I’m making two changes: I’m adding a zinc supplement to my daily routine, and I’m going to stop eating dairy.
Giving up dairy feels huge and is something I’ve considered many times as the potential solution for my digestion and my skin. But giving up my Saturday Pizza Movie Nights with my kids? No more butter in my coffee? No more ICE CREAM???
What has felt impossible before is feeling doable today. There are lots of alternatives. I can still have goats’ butter and cheeses. There are options.
And, as silly as this sounds, we just bought a new freezer to keep in our garage, and – somehow – having that is making giving up dairy feel easier. If I find a frozen dairy-free pizza that I like, I can stock up, and then Pizza Movie Nights with the kids can go on, them with their delivered pizza, and mine fresh from the oven.
I can do that. That can work. Starting today.